Do You Need Money to Make Money? | Lindsay Wagoner

Jen Ingram: 00:00:00

So, Lindsay, what are your two truths and one lie?

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:00:03

Okay, so I was a mom at 17 When I first started my business 19 years ago, my credit was so terrible, I couldn't even get a savings account. And I graduated top of my class from College.

Jen Ingram: 00:00:16

Welcome to A Whole Lotta Shift Podcast, the podcast for multi passionate women with an entrepreneurial spirit, where we provide inspiration, motivation, and education to help you shift away from all the shoul ds and supposed to's to what's truly possible for you in your business and your life. All on your own terms. You ready, girl? Let's make shift happen.

Jen Ingram: 00:00:49

Hello, and welcome to another episode of A Whole Lotta Shift. I'm your host, Jen Ingram. And I am so excited for today's guest. Today, I've invited Lindsay Wagner onto our podcast, and I am so honored and privileged that she has accepted my request to come on the show. I reached out to her because Lindsay is someone that I know from my gym, we work out together. And she is also someone that I have gotten the opportunity to network with and party with. And we're going to talk more about that. And so I am excited for her to bring all of her knowledge and expertise on social selling to all of you today. So Lindsay, welcome.

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:01:34

Thank you. I'm so excited to be here, Jen. Thanks for having me. Yes.

Jen Ingram: 00:01:39

Well, so Lindsay is a pure romance consultant. And she's been doing that for 19 years, you guys she is she is amazing. She's really been helping women and empowering them for with all the products that she sells to look and feel better in their own skin, which is so important. But I could go on and on of how I know her, but I'm gonna let Lindsay introduce herself to the audience and share a little bit about what you do.

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:02:11

Sure. So, like you said, I'm Lindsay Wagner, I've been doing parties now for 19 years. And what I love about pure romance is just like you said, we really helped to number one, we really hope to get rid of the just the idea that sexual wellness and sexual health aren't the same thing. And we just give women an opportunity to have a platform in which they can learn more about their bodies, their relationships, and whether they're in a relationship with themselves or somebody else. I always like to say that we're just here to make it better. Yes.

Jen Ingram: 00:02:48

One of what I've loved when I've gone to some of your parties is, you know, everybody kind of shows up and it's almost a little awkward, like, okay, what are we gonna talk about? Like, you know, we're all a little giggly, maybe whatever. And Lindsey just digs right in, we have a blast. I don't think I've been to a party yet where I haven't just laughed hysterically and had the best time. So it's, it's truly when she says she has parties i They're amazing. They're so much fun. So as you know, if you've been listening to prior episodes, I asked Lindsay before the show if she'd be willing to play two truths and one lie with me and she has agreed. So I'm super excited. Please, if you're listening, play along because at the end, Lindsay will reveal her two truths and one lie. And I'm super curious for you guys to comment and share what your guesses are. So Lindsay, what are your two truths and one lie?

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:03:48

Okay, so I was a mom at 17 When I first started my business 19 years ago, my credit was so terrible. I couldn't even get a savings account. And I graduated top of my class for college. That's it.

Jen Ingram: 00:04:06

These are good. Okay. All right. I love it. I love it. So I'm gonna have to think on those. Okay. On when you say 19 years, I mean, that takes us back. Can you take us back? Like what got you to decide into this niche or I want to I want to go into a business, not just go get another job. Tell us take us back to that moment.

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:04:32

So when I first started doing this, the main reason I did it is because I was a stay at home mom. I had two small kids. And by the time I paid for childcare, I was barely bringing in enough money to just pay for somebody else to raise my kids. Right. So and my husband had a really crazy schedule. So I get invited to this party. I mean, sex is a taboo subject in general, right? I went to a private Christian school growing up, we live in the Bible Belt. And so I remember getting invited to my first party thinking, not a chance, like not going there, my husband got the invite. And he's like, You should go. So because like I said, I was a stay at home mom, right? So I go to this party have so much fun. And I'm amazed at two things. Number one, I laughed. So much, just like you said, right? If a party was so fun, it wasn't uncomfortable at all, I left with a bag full of stuff and a mile long wish list of everything I wanted. And I couldn't believe that this woman stood up here with grace and class and in a respectful way, showed us how to love our bodies and ourselves and our relationships more. And so fast forward. And standing at all these grocery store. My kids are with me. So I'm already frustrated. Let's be honest, right? Now, I don't have enough money to pay for groceries. And I just remembered standing there just thinking how angry I was that I was at this place in my life. And it is not how I expected my life to be. And that lady who had conducted the party called me that night. And she said, Lindsay, I know you too, because she had asked me she was like, You should do this, just like all the other party planner, people do. Right? You'd be straight. And I was not interested. I don't want to be at sales. And so she calls me and she's like, we have a we have a sale. I know you said money was an issue. If you'd like that to change, I would love to talk more to you about this. And all I could think is it can't get worse than where I am right now. I was so unhappy. Like we were robbing Peter to pay Paul, we were living paycheck to paycheck, barely making it like it sucked. Like it really sucked. And I was just pissed off and angry. And this was supposed to just start me into being able to make enough money to not worry about taking a calculator to the grocery store and not having that moment happen again, not knowing what it would turn into. So that was my first introduction into understanding or knowing why I would want to do this. And my shift pro, you know, process has happened multiple, multiple times in this journey. Oh, yeah.

Jen Ingram: 00:07:34

Okay, okay. I want to know more about that. I mean, first, I want to start with acknowledging I feel your pain that you know, I think for those who may have never been there, you literally can be at a point where you can't get a checking account or a savings account. So it's not like you can go to the store with a debit card. And of course, places aren't accepting checks if you do get it. I mean, it's, it's a nightmare. And once you're on that list of a bank not accepting you, it's no joke, you're not getting an account. Now. It's like you and you. Ah, it's so difficult. It is just a daunting task. And so literally showing up to the grocery store and and then it gets embarrassing, right? Like you go to the grocery store. And there's food items that you have to either say, Well, let's take this off the conveyor belts or that means I can't get this for my kid. Like it's it's mentally exhausting.

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:08:40

Gonna say if it wasn't even about, like, the embarrassment for other people. It was that my kids didn't understand. You know what I mean? Like they didn't get it. They didn't understand. Forgot the calculator. And i Mom only have so much gash. So they were upset too. Yeah, it was very frustrating. Yeah.

Jen Ingram: 00:08:59

Yes, it's so but you said something that I really I really like because, you know, if you we hear this a lot particularly in the in the service industry, like you're why needs to be really deep and big. And, but sometimes it takes a while to dig deep enough to understand that why sometimes the why is as simple as all you know, is something has to change. It has to change. There are no other options, this opportunities in front of you, and why not? That desire to change sometimes is your why

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:09:43

so many times over the last 19 years, so many times. Tell us

Jen Ingram: 00:09:49

more about that. So like what tell us how has what I'm really curious about when you say that you've had many other shifts through this journey. Do you think the business is What has helped you have those shifts or talk to me a little bit more about that? So

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:10:05

I actually think so the shift for me, has happened. personally, professionally, financially, I mean, all the way around to it, it has happened. So I truly genuinely thought when I first started doing this, like, I think in my head, I only was able to be in a certain space with certain types of people, I only was worth so much, right. So my personal value and my self worth, and my confidence has been one of my favorite things that I've grown over the years. And I really believe that it's had a lot to do with not only my business, but just my desire to want more for myself. And I've learned so much of this from working with other women. And like my the cheerleaders I have in my life that actually started listening to, I didn't just take it and took it as uncomfortable, right. I was like, Thank you, like, Thank you for helping to lift me up. But so I thought that there would be a certain point that I would get in my life where, like, you would get to the dream board, right? Your Pinterest board of life, right? I would go today. And all of a sudden, I'm just going to be happy. And guess what, that's not how life works. Like that is not how this for me, that was one of the shifts that was understanding. Learning how to be content and where I am and own, where I came from, and how much I've grown, and what I've done and how far we've come. That has been the most powerful shift, I stopped comparing my day, whatever to somebody else's day 99 I stopped comparing to everybody's highlight reel on social media and realize that none of that mattered, right? So for me, I got so focused for a while on the Joneses. Who nobody wants to be the Joneses, like the Joneses don't even want to be No, right. Right? Worse, no one cares about that. So I decided it was time to just learn how to be happy, right where I am. And that, yes, I'm gonna have goals and dreams and desires, but I just want to be a better version of Lindsey. I'm not in competition with anyone else. So my biggest shift, and I think what altered my life and my business the most within the last, probably three years has been learning that my only competition is me. So, yeah,

Jen Ingram: 00:12:54

amen. That's a huge one because that imposter syndrome is real. It is so real. And, and I appreciate to you know, what you brought up about, um, social media and seeing somebody else's, you know, day 99 on social media, or whatever that case is, you know, if this is, you know, somebody who's already experiencing some success in their business, they had a day one. And it's just that you're seeing them at a different point. It's all a process. Oh, man, so many, so many opportunities there. I, I enjoy, you know, you also brought up receiving the cheerleading that you get, you know, I think sometimes is women. I mean, I'm gonna be honest, women can be mean to each other. Are you kidding? Wait, we, we like just nasty. Okay, we have like the these standards that even we can't live up to. So it's funny why in the world, we ever expect that another woman is going to live to some sort of imaginary standard. I'm not quite sure. But but we do it right. Like we compare. Oh, she's doing that with her kid. I would never. Like, that's just and so first, even experiencing what it's like to just have a group of women who support you and are there to cheer you on. And grow with you is is huge. But learning how to receive that from other women. That's big. Yeah,

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:14:47

it is. Well, just receiving enroll because, I mean, I know Jen, you hit the nail on the head. Like just being able to receive love from others can be hard for people anyways, especially if I struggle with their confidence and self worth. But at the end of the day, I think what I've learned after working with women for so long, and by the way, when I first started my business, I didn't have girlfriends. Like, I didn't, I didn't girlfriends. I, you know, that was not a thing. And so I was terrified. Because I was like, like, growing up, most of my friends weren't guys, because there wasn't the chatty drama. And, you know, I had a big brother, I didn't know what it was like to have sisters. And now I am literally surrounded by women. 24/7. Like, I joke all the time that I herd cats, and it's so here's what I've learned the most about women and what all we want, right? What I've learned is when women are pushing their feelings, their thoughts, their opinions, on to other women, or making other women think that they're judging them, it all boils down to one thing. And that is, they don't feel good about themselves, right? So they have their own personal issues that they're dealing with, and they're going through, and they're demons. And none of us have any idea what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes. And so we use things and we say things, not and I don't think any woman walks around going, Oh, I hope that bench fails. Like I don't think anybody does that. Right? But are some girls, they get that mean girl stigma. And I think they get that because they are so insecure. And I you know, I get it. And I understand because there was a point in my life. I was there to you know, I still every every human being on the planet struggles with insecurity sometime in their life. And so it's learning to stop listening to that insecure child in your head. That is lying to you. When you understand that that girl giving you RBF Right? Or looking you up and down. One meet me probably, or

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:17:12

were you smashing into a party?

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:17:14

Yes, she needs a pheromones are are some good vibes. Right? Yes. So I That's how do I smile at everyone? I don't care. What look you have on your face. I believe that if we can have more women, uplift other women and more men doing the same thing. Like just in general. That's the kind of movement that I want to see happen. Is that good vibrations, you know, just passing that along. That's what it's about.

Jen Ingram: 00:17:46

Oh, my God. Yes. Yes. I remember when I was learning how to make that switch from? Well, that must be nice to oh my god, if she's doing it, it means I could, too. So thank you. Thank you for showing all the other women what else is possible?

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:18:06

Yeah. And be a cheer like, like, just be just like, maybe she worked harder than you did. Maybe she put more hours in the day than you did. Like, that's what it is about. Because there are so many people like, especially in this business. There are women who are personally doing, you know, like they're doing so much in personal sales. 1234 $500,000 in personal shills themselves, we have a woman who has done over a million dollars in personal sales. Guess what? She works harder. And I look at them and I'm like, I will be your biggest cheerleader. Because good for yes. Good for you. That's what it should be.

Jen Ingram: 00:18:53

Yes. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. No, I I love that. So tell us a little bit. You know, I, I think that there's some stigmas to it, that I hear from people about well, social selling well, oh my gosh, is this the group of women that end up in my DMs and I'm like, I don't think Lindsey is ended up in my DM unless I asked her to but just tell me a little bit about that. Like, how do you build How did you get over? Those kind of repeated objections as you were trying to build your business? What do you have to tell yourself? I'm really curious. Yeah. So

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:19:33

that was a really big struggle for me at the beginning because I didn't like I said it earlier on. I didn't want to be that party, party planner, stalker lady, right. Because you're right, that's, that we think about right. So instead, here's what I thought of. The way I look at it is, I fell in love with this business because I know how many lives it can change because it changed my life. And if it's a taboo subject, and everyone has a relationship, like I said, whether it's with themselves or someone else, and especially women, not learning how to love themselves and their bodies and just get in touch with their sexy side, and just owning it and owning who you are and what you have in loving every inch of it, I decided that I had a gift, and that it was my job to share that gift with other women. And some will, some won't. And it's okay. And if you tell me, No, I'm the girl in your DM, that will say, no worries girl, and I give you a smiley face or a thumbs up. Because it may be no right now that maybe later on because I treated you the way I would want to be treated. Because I build ships and report. And I try my best to get to know my clients on a more personal level. I want them to trust love and respect to me. That's what I want. And so that's what I really work on. I'm real. I'm genuine, I am a ship so 90% of the time. Right? Because I'm not perfect. And I'm not gonna be. And I don't want to be like, those are really high standards. And so I don't want that I want it. I want to be relatable. So what I did as Sue is, I'm sharing a gift. And if I look at this as a way for me to help other people, yes, it helps me to but how many lives can I change? How many relationships can I save? Or end if it's not in a good place? Right? So that I feel, that's how I feel. So I have a gift. And if you believe in what you do, and you believe in your products, or whatever it may be. That's all you're doing is you're offering up a gift to somebody else.

Jen Ingram: 00:21:56

Yes, no, yeah. And you you do such a good job of of helping women do that and learning how to love themselves. You know, if we hear all this, oh, I can't I can't find love. I don't feel loved. I'm telling you love yourself more. Oh my gosh, I remember like one of the first parties that I went to of yours. And you were just sharing some information about some of the bought the body products, like the lotions and the amount of wine, just web light and the oils and, and at first I was like, oh, you know, do you know which lotion I have at home? Lindsay, I don't need any when you're like, Okay, well, I'm just telling you, like, just try this. Okay, you know, maybe I'll try it. And it was so funny, like You warned me at the party that I was going to be walking around like feeling on myself. And what's really funny is like, I'll take a shower. And then and I don't know why I do this. But I'll take a shower, and then go to the gym, which I realized doesn't make any sense. But just work with me here. I take a shower, they'll just do nothing thinking like, you know, I will put my lotion and my oil on after the shower. I'm like walking into the gym, feeling. Like, I smell so good. You guys can't smell me right now I smell so good. But it what it reminds me of is exactly what you share at your parties. And this is this is why I really wanted to ask you the question of how you get through these stigmas. Because even going to your parties, you really just share a lot of information and share about you know what, what we can experience when something like is soft on our skin and how we can love ourselves more and appreciate our body and so many things. One of the other things that I've noticed, because I've been to several of your parties, but your Facebook group is incredible. And I'm definitely before the end of the show, we're going to be sharing some information about that because you guys have got to get into Lindsay's Facebook group, but the engagement from all the ladies in your group is so high and and I have to say and I've never felt even though, you know, this is the other thing too. Like I got into that group. And I was like, Oh my God, I know some of these people from the gym. Like, should I comment on what I'm like, I don't know. And then I was like, You know what, if they're commenting, then I might as well comment, because what's the matter now? Right, you know, but the engagement is so good. What is some of your tips about just building that kind of community?

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:24:33

Well, so first and foremost, I make sure that I'm very clear that it's a private group, right? So it's a private group, it is Lane only. And it is meant to be a safe space for you to be able to care about amazing products information. It's not even just product driven. We have an A, like an extensive amount of sexual health research and development certification. Yes, every anything and so I share a lot of that. And so I let them know, this is a safe space. And if you're in here, it's because you want to learn more about it, you want to purchase it, or you just want to be a fly on the wall of a really fun group, where we normalize the fact that everyone is having sex, whether it's with themselves or someone else, right? It's just about you in the fact that you're doing it. And I also like, just to kind of go back and pay back of what you were talking about earlier, I try to make sure that I say to women all the time, if you don't love you, how on earth expect anyone else to write? So that's exactly what I try to set in that group. And women know that they have the ability to comment openly in the group, ask questions, if they want to, I do give them the option, I have that group setting, which nobody has used so far, by the way, but they can comment and or post anonymously. So if they want to be private, or stay, you know, incognito, they can. And then there are some women who do choose to just private message me, but they know it is a private group where their privacy is at the top of my level of customer service that I give to people like just like you, Jen, like when I see you at the gym. I'm not like, Hey, girl, how are those products? There their products with other people, but I never will. Because that would be breaking your trust that I've already earned. Right? So I am very, very much about making it a safe place for them. It's fun, like Yeah, sure. There's fun stuff it is.

Jen Ingram: 00:26:49

There is so much fun stuff and you do you share so much just information sexual health information that that I agree like we let's let's get rid of some of the stigma around talking about that. It's it's one of the things I noticed you had posted a bunch of statistics the other day and I saw that the platform that your group is on tried to fact check it. They just left it I thought I want to know what it guys back checked Lindsay's information.

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:27:25

Yes. Also, I'm like, what an angry little elf. Like what are right factchecking clearly you're probably thinking and again. Exactly. So yeah, that was

Jen Ingram: 00:27:40

my exact thought. I was like, Are they really fact checking this? Okay, well, next thing, they're gonna be mansplaining to us. Yeah. Oh, man. So, okay, I got a little a little sidetrack. But you guys, okay, I'm gonna be sure to share. We'll talk about it at the end. But also, I'll be putting in the show notes information on how to get in touch with Lindsey, because you guys will have to get into her Facebook group. It's it's so much fun. Thank you. So I do want to make sure that I have enough time. So I'm trying to get us back now. Two truths and one lie. Okay. So let me think okay, so you said, Okay, tell me the three again.

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:28:27

Okay. So I was a mom at 17. I, when I first started my business, my credit was so bad. I couldn't even get a savings account. And I graduated top in my class from college. I

Jen Ingram: 00:28:43

feel like all of those could potentially be true, because first of all, I'm like, How have you been in business? 19 years?

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:28:48

Why now? Yeah. Okay.

Jen Ingram: 00:28:59

I think that hang on, you're so freaking smart, too. You could. Okay. I'm gonna say that the credit thing is true. That, that you struggled with getting a savings account. I think that was true. I will fully admit that somewhat biased because that was me at one point in time as well. That is correct. And what is true? Yeah. Oh, it's it's rough. Yeah. Oh my gosh, God factor. I literally

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:29:29

fell 19 years later. Now my credit is almost perfect.

Jen Ingram: 00:29:36

Oh, that's so amazing. Yes, it is. So amazing. But we got Ah, right. Okay, so then the other thing I'm gonna say you would have had to have been young in business. 19 years. I'm gonna say that you did

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:29:55

have your first kid at 17 You're correct. I did.

Jen Ingram: 00:30:00

Those are the teachers. Okay, but you went to college? I bet you thought you did not

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:30:07

know. So I actually so I went to a private Christian school. And I got very, very young. So I dropped out, basically. And I got my AED. And I did not go on to college, because I had a baby.

Jen Ingram: 00:30:26

But you know what? More proof to all those little superficial checkboxes that society tells us are the only things that make us successful is bullshit.

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:30:38

Why I made that my life not to take away at all, from anyone no chooses to go to college. But I remember growing up thinking, and this was my mindset, and what I grew out of thank God, right. I thought that in order to be successful in life and make really great money, you had to be a college grad, like you, that was part of the thing, you had to go to college and, and I was a teenage mom dropped out got a GED, and I wasn't gonna amount to anything. And, like, it just makes you realize that hard work, determination, work ethic, and not caring about other people's opinions. helps you to remember life. So that's what we did.

Jen Ingram: 00:31:34

Yes. Oh, my gosh, that's, that's a good one. I really I because yeah, I suffered with that. You want to talk about imposter syndrome? I mean, I suffered with that for so long. I have like three degrees. And, and if you ask me if I think I need any of them. No, no, but in my mind, there was no way I was ever going to be able to do anything. I mean, you know? Yeah. Wow. Oh, that's so powerful. Okay, so Lindsey, tell us how can how can people find you and get in touch with you?

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:32:09

Well, I'm pretty much on all the things. But I so I'm on Facebook, my favorite place for you to find me is definitely in my private VIP page. And so I do have the link that we can share with you guys. I am it's Lindsay Wagner, I have a public profile. So if you just search Facebook for pure romance, Lindsay Wagner, I have a just regular profile. I'm on Instagram, I do have a YouTube channel as well. And it's where I do snippets and videos explaining what products we carry, and a little bit more about the business for ladies who want to do something like this. And then of course, my website. So those are the places they can find me.

Jen Ingram: 00:32:54

Awesome, okay. And I'll be sure to share those in the show notes as well so that you guys can go and, and follow follow Lindsey, because I gotta tell you, it's, it's a blast. And even if, you know, I still would encourage you to go and find Lindsey on whatever platform you're on. Because, again, what she provides to the world isn't necessarily about products. I mean, she's really out here, being one of our cheerleaders. So I definitely encourage you, yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh, well, this has been so much fun.

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:33:32

Yes, 100%. And thank you for having me. And I'm just gonna say ditto to everything you've said, guys, if you're listening to this, Jin is probably one of my favorite humans. I love you dearly. I so appreciate having you in my life. I'm glad I got to meet you. And I applaud you for starting this podcast and doing everything you do to help others to so thank you, Jen Angra, you're amazing.

Jen Ingram: 00:34:00

Oh, my gosh, thank you. Thank you. I just, I mean, I can't when you're passionate about just sharing such a positive message. It's just, you know, and and then I get to meet people like you like it's just, we just start getting drawn to each other.

Lindsey Wagoner: 00:34:18

Like, oh,